Letter [Updated 20th November]
Subject: Self Introduction
Dear Mr Brad,
I am Chia Kai Fong, currently a Year 1 student at Singapore Institute of Technology studying Mechanical Engineering.
I chose to study engineering as since young, I have always been fascinated by how things work. Like how planes fly? And how does a robot move? This interest in engineering led me to actively engage in robotics as a co-curricular activity during both my primary and secondary school years. After completing secondary school, I furthered my education by studying biomedical engineering at Temasek Polytechnic, where I also obtained certification in basic 3D printing.
Additionally, I am currently serving as a grassroots leader at Nee Soon East Youth Network. I am currently holding the role of head of publicity within my youth network. A strong communication skill that I have attained through volunteering would be digital communication. As head of publicity, I designed multiple digital content like digital display panels posters, and banners using Canva. Besides. I am currently handling platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok accounts as well. I have been also actively planning events and outings for our residents. Recently, I brought along seniors from our beneficiaries and other members of the public to River Wonders. Besides serving within my youth network, I have helped film and edit videos for my Nee Soon East advisor regarding parliamentary debates and other matters. Despite being in a community engagement association, I still have lots of room to improve my communication skills such as public speaking.
Thus, I really hope to enhance my confidence and communication skills during the critical thinking & communicating module. I often feel stressed when I need to start a conversation with people and always end up using both Chinese and English in a sentence.
I hope my sharing has been able to let you know more about myself. Thank you for your time!
Regards,
Chia Kai Fong
Feedbacked on
Hao Wen Justin Wei Jie
Editor's note: Updated letter in relevance to feedback by classmates and instructor.
Hi I am Haowen, I think your letter is great as it begins with a clear introduction that includes the writer's name and academic background, providing the reader with essential information.You also mention the role as a "Grassroots Leader" and involvement in planning events which is good because it demonstrates leadership and community engagement of you. Maybe you can add more content to share more details about yourself so that the letter looks more complete.
ReplyDeleteThank you Hao Wen for your feedback !
DeleteHi Kai Fong, great introductory letter. You gave reasons to why you joined engineering and also interesting facts about yourself, like you being a grassroot leader, that is fantastic! Maybe you could have expanded more about your communication skills and what your goals are. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThank you Justin for your feedback !
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Kai Fong,
ReplyDeleteThis is a clear, concise and informative letter. I especially appreciate learning about your grassroots leadership experience and your being keen to study engineering from a young age. I also am impressed by your open sharing of your comm skills weakness and needs. What would enhance this letter would be a bit more detail in terms of what the network does and the role you play.
This is generally a fluent letter, but there are some issues to take note of:
1. overuse of caps
-- studying Mechanical Engineering.
-- studying Biomedical Engineering
-- serving as a Grassroots Leader
2. sentence structure
-- Like how planes fly and how does a robot moves. > (fragment)
Let's work on these points.
I appreciate your effort.
Brad
Thank you sir. Will make amendments soon
Delete